RBs Keys to Successful Living

People have trust issues. Some don’t trust family members, let alone strangers.

Many people trust nothing outside of themselves.

So how did I learn about trust from a cat?

I stopped by my parent’s house today to handle the fall raking / leaf removal. While raking in the backyard I observed a particular cat. My mom feeds a number of stray cats from the neighborhood, one of whom is less fearful of people than others.

She’s a ferel animal but will approach within 20 - 30 feet of me whereas the other cats scramble.

The interesting thing about today was that the cat continued to sit closer to me as the morning progressed. By the end of the morning she was stationed within 5 feet of me.

My mom noted this.

“She trusts you.”

I thought, “Why?”

The only person who can get as close to her is my mom. She’s developed a bond with the cat over time, feeding her twice daily over the course of a year.

I see the kitty once every 2-3 weeks, if that. She usually scatters when I’m within 20 feet or so.

Why was today so different?

I now realize that I attempted to build a trusting relationship. Really, I just wanted to get close enough to pet her. But to establish contact I had to develop trust between the two parties.

How did I do it?

I Set An Intent

I decided that I wanted to pet her before walking into the yard. I’d be there at least 3 hours; this seemed like a reasonable time frame to get close enough to pet her.

Was this realistic? Probably not. But it’s this type of mindset that had the cat within 5 feet of me after never being within 20 feet of me before jetting.
You have to expect miraculous results for miracles to happen.

Now, I wouldn’t lump being able to pet a ferrel cat after 20 minutes as a miracle but it is a pretty remarkable feat.

The thing about trust is that it can‘t be forced. You can’t make anyone trust you. It’s their decision to do so. You also shouldn’t tell yourself that it will take years to develop trust with a particular person or base of people. If you do, it certainly will.

People adjust to your level of intent. The stronger and purer the intent the more likely you‘ll achieve the desired result.

There are people who develop trust in a relatively short period of time. These are the people who expect to be trusted NOW, not later.

I Approached With Caution

I walked very slowly when I first approached the cat. I didn’t want to give off the vibration of being excited. I took it step by step. No sudden movements. No forced motions. I listened to my intuition, which said “Take it easy.”

If somebody approaches me in an agitated, excited state, I’m going to run.

If at the end of our first conversation a woman tells me that she’s madly in love with me and wants to be the mother of my kids, I’m running. These words indicate a desperate person who would do anything to get someone to love her.

If it is love at first sight there’s no need to put it into words. Both of our feelings do the talking.

If a sales person approaches me aggressively, I’m sprinting. No way in hell I’m trusting someone who doesn’t believe in themselves. If you’re not good at what you do why would I want to buy from you? You’re not good at what you do because people aren’t flocking to you. If they were you wouldn’t be chasing prospects.

The really good sellers attract people. They learned long ago that whatever is chased, flees.

I Came Down To Her Level

I slowly crouched down so we could see eye-to-eye. I was no longer a towering, threatening figure. When we were level she came even a little closer.

I liken this to being level with a person. Would you trust someone who talks down to you? Would you trust someone who talks at you?

If you’re not engaged in a two-sided conversation you’re talking down to someone or you’re talking at them. You’re not talking to them.

You can quickly sense if someone’s a listener or not. You know when they’re not being level with you.

You’ll never trust a person who isn’t level with you.

I Wasn‘t Attached To The Outcome

Was I able to pet her? No. Was it the end of the world for me? No.

Sometimes you can’t build trust in a specified time frame. Sometimes you can.

From a domestic perspective if you haven’t met anybody in quite a while don’t panic. Don’t stress. The universe has someone who’s perfect for you waiting in the wings. You’ll have a trusting, fulfilling relationship. Set the proper intent and take things slowly.

From a professional perspective if your business is flagging don’t get upset. Don’t get angry. You’ll do things which nullify trust; proceeding without the proper intent, chasing prospects, and talking at people instead of talking to them.

Clarify your purpose. Aim to build relationships. Lose the dog-eat-dog business practices. Develop trust.

There you go. Nature is the best teacher. I owe that cat a can of Friskees.

How can you better develop trust? Are there areas in your personal or professional life where you could be more trusting?

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- Photo flickr.com/photos/badhousewife/