RBs Keys to Successful Living

“It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.” ~ Sally Field

Self-consciousness can be paralyzing. The curse of self-conscious thought has killed more than one ambition. Letting other’s thoughts, feelings and actions rule your thinking is not only a disservice to yourself but also to God. Your individuality is the expression of God. Every thing in the universe is different. Different functions, different talents, and different parts to play in the plans of the universe. Self-conscious thought kills individuality. You won’t perform your function when worried about what others will think, say, or do about it.

Follow these tips to ease self-conscious thinking.

Smile

Smile at every person you meet today. Really. EVERY person.

The act of smiling releases tension. Self-conscious thought is filled with tension. Smiling puts yourself and others at ease. Most tend to respond to a smile with a smile or their own or at least a nod. A grin takes the focus off of you and moves it to others; a powerful tool used to release self-conscious thought.

Talk

Form the habit of talking to people. Chat up the cashier at the store. The attendant at the gas station. The goal is to become comfortable with the idea of conversing with any one.

The silent treatment make self-conscious thinking grow like a weed. Ever been in a room with two people who were extremely self-conscious? Awkward!

Speaking helps to break down barriers. There’s a silent wall between people who refuse to open their mouths and the rest of the world. The “cascading thoughts” syndrome is a direct result of prolonged silence in social settings. Refusing to talk due to self-conscious tendencies creates every imaginable negative thought in the mind.

“What do they think about me? I don’t want to look stupid? Are they looking at me funny? Is something wrong with me?”

People generally lack the awareness to observe these thoughts. The normal process is reactive: cue racing thoughts, go into shell.

Talking helps to ease these thoughts. When speaking, the mind focuses on expressing itself in a more emotional manner. Stronger emotions can help to slow down the cascade of self-conscious thoughts.

Focus Attention

I practiced this meditation during my morning walk today. Fix your attention on an object. Keep it there for an extended period of time. Ignore everything else that comes to mind.

This is a fun and challenging meditation. It makes one acutely aware of their self-conscious thoughts when coming into contact with other people. In the beginning it’s best practiced in a place where the senses won’t be assaulted.

I focused on a pond at the local park. As people passed I sensed my awareness being pulled by their presence. The inner dialog started: “Should I say ‘Hi’? What will they think I don’t say ‘Hi’? I don’t want to ignore them. I don’t want to be rude.”

On an on the thoughts went. I was able to observe them for what they were and let them go. That is the essence of mediation. Observing, embracing, and releasing.

I had deep self-conscious issues during childhood. It’s taken me years to become comfortable with myself in social settings. As my awareness expands I can see these old energies arise and disappear quickly.

Surround Yourself With Self-Assured People

If you are deeply self-conscious it’s because you picked up the habit. You were not born self-conscious. Small children do not embarrass easily. In growing they quickly learn from self-conscious figures in authority to worry about what people will think, say, or do in response to the actions that they take. Many adults unknowingly pass the poison of self-conscious thought on to younger generations.

Break the cycle. Surround yourself with self-assured people. Limit your contact with self-conscious friends. Do you want to spend your entire life worrying about what others will think, say, or do in response to you being you? That’s not living, it’s a slow death.

Be Happy!

Happy people are rarely self-conscious; they’re too busy being happy to be concerned with what other people think about them. Do the things that you want to do. Make a blanket decision to make yourself happy first. Happy people achieve the most. They are free from the anxiety of self-conscious thought. This allows them to do what they do best with little second guessing for fear of what others might think.

How self-conscious are you? How have you overcome your self-consciousness?

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I fully endorse Boundless Living Elite. Having followed the course material for over a year I’ve learned how to attract more of what I want and more importantly, less of what I don’t want. If you are committed to creating your ideal life get involved with this communinty of like-minded people.

- Photo flickr.com/photos/andresthor/